Strings (Oh God, The Strings)
by Stall Walt
Summary: Lisa has a new machine that allows people to view alternate dimensions and Lincoln is the first subject. Lisa also should have installed a filter.


"Thank you for volunteering your DNA. I assure you that your contribution will not go wasted." Lisa said as she carefully inserted Lincoln's DNA into a test tube.

"And thank you that the only DNA you needed was a piece of my hair." Lincoln rubbed his head as he watched Lisa get down from her desk to a medium sized machine. "So what did you say this thing does?"

"I believe that it would be impossible to remind you since I never elucidated the purpose of this machine, which I will do so now. Tell me, how familiar are you with the idea of String Theory?"

Lincoln tapped his chin as he gathered everything he knew.

"Isn't String Theory the idea that nearly everything in our universe is a kind of string in a near endless amount of strings that more or less make up other dimensions and the multiverse?"

Lisa paused for a moment to look at Lincoln. "In a matter of speaking, that is probably the most rudimentary understanding of it, but yes, that is. May I even ask how you even know about it? I'm fairly certain that our school's curriculem doesn't cover quantum physics."

Lincoln shrugged. "You'd be surprised how many times comic writers use 'parallel universes' as a plot point."

"Huh." Lisa replied before turning back to her work. After fiddling with the insides of the machine for a couple more seconds, she got the test tube and inserted it into an opening before closing it shut. Checking over a few things on the control panel to the side, she nodded to herself before turning to Lincoln.

"Well then, everything appears to be in order, so allow me to introduce you to my newest invention, the multi-dimensional viewing interface. Sparing you the technical details, most of which I'm sure you probably will not understand, this machine uses your DNA here as an anchor for which we can view alternate reality, using your alternate self in that reality."

Lincoln nodded. "Alright, so why this? Why not something that can let us travel to those places?" He asked, thinking about the dream he had when he visited that reality where he had ten brothers with the help of Lisa's dimension traveling watch.

Lisa took off her glasses and sighed as she wiped them. "I have thought about that. But then I realized that if we do go into this alternate realities, we also run the risk of contamination by alternate diseases, possible injury, or even the machine itself breaking down. Though I do prefer the ability to actually travel to said places, I decided that the same results can be obtained more safely with this viewing receptable."

She put her glasses back on. "Please note there is a difference between striving to fail and failing when striving, okay?"

Lincoln smiled "Yeah, got it. So when do I get to see an alternate me?"

"Soon, once I activate the machine, the screen should show us the first universe, which should be...NOW!" With that, Lisa flipped the switch, activating the machine. The screen turned on, first showing static, before starting to clear up, a familiar figure starting to become clearer. Lincoln couldn't help but draw a bit closer. What was he like in this new alternate reality?

 _"Nobody want to see us together, but it don't matter, no..."_

Huh, guess he was a pretty good singer. But why was he shirtless? But then a familiar hand reached over and caressed his alternate self's cheek, and Lori leaned into the frame, his smile making Lincoln feel very uncomfortable. Then...

"...Why is Lori only in her bra? And is she getting closer? That's very close, and am I puckering up? No...No no...NO!" Lincoln immediately jumped forward and covered the screen with his hands. He turned to Lisa, utterly confused.

"WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?"

Lisa shrugged. "I don't know. I suppose somewhere in the multiverse, you're a sick individual."

"Oh thank you for pointing out the obivous!" Lincoln groaned.

"DWEEB, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU CAUSING SO MUCH NOISE FOR!"

"QUIET, I'M TRYING TO GET MY BEAUTY SLEEP HERE!"

"YO, TURN IT DOWN, I'M TRYING TO THINK OF SOME LYRICS!"

Lincoln could only hang his mouth open as more and more sisters started to get into the argument. It promptly snapped closed as Lori turned it into a lynch mob all aimed at him. Remembering what he was covering with his hands, he took a quick peek at the screen.

He quickly covered it back up, his cheeks the brightest red and his eyes a shade away from the deepest horror.

"Lisa, change it change it change it!"

Lisa quickly mashed a few buttons as Lori opened the door, the rest of the sisters looking cross. Lincoln smiled nervously, a bit of sweat rolling down the side of his head. He quickly glanced at Lisa, who nodded. Slowly, he took his hands off the screen, before trying his best to get into a neutral pose.

"Lori, I-" "NOBODY WANTS TO SEE US TOGETHER, BUT IT DON'T MATTER NO!"

Lincoln quickly glanced back at Lisa.

'I thought you changed the channel!'

'I did. I do not understand what is going on!'

'So if you changed the channel, then what is on the screen?'

Their mental conversation finishing in seconds, both Lisa and Lincoln looked at the screen only to see...

"LENI!?" Lincoln screamed.

"Leni? What do you...Why is Leni about to OH MY GOD!" Lori screamed as the older sisters covered the eyes of the younger sisters.

'My life is over...' Lincoln thought to himself, covering his face.

* * *

A few minutes later, everyone sat in front of the machine with Lori rubbing her chin.

"So this machine lets us view into alternate versions of Lincoln, and one of these has Leni and Lincoln together?" Lori asked.

Lisa merely nodded. Lincoln continued to stare down at the ground. Leni sat next to him and patted his back.

"Don't worry, Lincy. I still love you, I just don't love you that way."

Lincoln only groaned and fell onto his face.

"Leni, shouldn't you be asking why is it that Lincoln's alternate self has feelings for you?" Lynn asked.

'It's official, my sisters think I'm a freak.' Lincoln mourned.

"My fellow siblings, desist this useless line of questioning. Do keep in mind that these are alternate universes and are mere possibilities, that have no real bearing in our reality. While Lincoln and/or our sister in that situation may be a shameless deviant, that does mean that our Lincoln and/or sister in this reality secretly have the same tendencies." Lisa said.

Lincoln looked up and smiled at Lisa. Lisa sent a quick smile back.

"Well, why don't you show us a place where Lincoln isn't gross?" Lola replied, her hands on her hips.

"Certainly," Lisa said as she booted up the machine. "I have made a few modifications, and I'm sure that we can view an universe where we marvel at the possibilities."

As soon as the screen turned on...

 _"NOBODY WANTS TO SEE US TOGETHER, BUT IT DON'T MATTER, NO!"_

"OH COME ON!" Lincoln screamed as Luna now leaned into the shot, her state of dress and smile hinting at the very naughty things she was thinking. All of the sisters looked at Luna.

"Hey, why are you looking at me like that? Little bro is just little bro to me."

"Change the channel, Lisa." Lincoln muttered, his attention still on the screen, hoping to see something besides...that.

The channel changed.

 _"NOBODY WANtS TO SEE US TOGETHER, BUT IT DON'T MATTER, NO!"_

Lincoln groaned as it was Luan's turn to seduce an alternate self. Still, there was something weird about this whole thing besides the fact that all this sister kissing was going on.

BLARGH!

"T-that was real vomit, not fake. I assure you... Please get it."

"Lisa, can you change the channel?" Lincoln asked, his mind already working on what is it that was making him more uncomfortable.

The channel changed.

 _"NOBODY WANTS TO SEE US TOGETHER, BUT IT DON'T MATTER, NO!"_

"WAIT, IS THIS GOING DOWN THE ORDER?!" Lincoln screamed as a much more feminine than usual Lynn popped into view and their Lynn becoming petrified.

"LISA, DON'T CHANGE THE CHANNEL!"

"NO, I'M SURE I CAN FIND A REALITY FREE OF THIS FILTH!"

Oh god...

The channel changed.

 _"NOBODY WANTS TO SEE US TOGETHER, BUT IT DON'T MATTER, NO!"_

"Never has my insides become a storm of disgust and bile until now."

The channel changed.

 _"NOBODY WANTS TO SEE US TOGETHER, BUT IT DON'T MATTER, NO!"_

"EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

The channel changed.

 _"NOBODY WANTS TO SEE US TOGETHER, BUT IT DON'T MATTER, NO!"_

"EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

Lincoln looked at Lisa, begging her to stop before the next one.

The channel changed.

 _"NOBODY WANTS TO SEE US TOGETHER, BUT IT DON'T MATTER, NO!"_

"Goo goo ga ga ga." Lily bubbled as her hand reached out to touch Lincoln's face.

Silence, absolute silence. All the sisters stared at the screen, practically dumbfounded. Lisa sighed and rubbed her eyes as she turned the machine off.

"Nevermind... Hey, where's Lincoln?"

All eyes turned to Lincoln, one foot out the window. He blinked at them. They blinked at him.

"NOOOO! LET ME GO! I CAN'T DO IT, I CAN'T LIVE KNOWING WHAT I'M RELATED TO!"

* * *

In the end, Lincoln had to be checked in to therapy.

* * *

It took so long just to type this joke up.


End file.
